Name the story
Instead of arguing with a familiar thought, notice it as a thought, give it a name, and carry on.
Key takeaways
- Arguing with an old, familiar thought often keeps it going. ACT steps back from it instead, which it calls defusion.
- Add "I'm having the thought that…", or name the storyline: "Ah, the not-good-enough story again."
- The thought doesn't have to go away. It just stops steering, and you can do what matters with it along for the ride.
When fighting a thought feeds it
In the early 1980s, the psychologist Steven Hayes had a panic attack in the middle of a faculty meeting. For a long time afterward he fought his anxious thoughts, and the fight only seemed to make them stronger.
What helped was a different relationship with them: noticing a thought as a thought, rather than wrestling with what it said. That shift became a core part of acceptance and commitment therapy, ACT, which Hayes developed with his colleagues.
Thoughts as thoughts
Some thoughts are old regulars. "I'll end up alone." "I'm about to mess this up." You have argued with them a hundred times, and they keep coming back. Arguing with them can feel like arguing with a radio.
ACT calls the alternative defusion. Instead of "I'll mess this up," you say "I'm having the thought that I'll mess this up." Or you give the familiar storyline a name: "Ah, the not-good-enough story again." The thought may still be there, but it has become something you notice rather than something you are inside.
This is different from CBT's evidence check, which tests whether a thought is true. Both are useful. Defusion tends to work better for thoughts you have already disproved many times and still believe at 3am.
Try it: milk, milk, milk
- The exercise
Say the word "milk" out loud, fast, over and over, for about 30 seconds.
- What happens
Most people find the word stops meaning anything. It turns into a sound. Psychologists have known about this since the early 1900s.
- Now a thought
In one study, people who did the same with a harsh word they used about themselves, like "stupid", found it less upsetting and less believable afterward.
Question 1 of 2
The thought "I'll be rejected" shows up before a first date. Which response is defusion?
How to do it
Name the story
- Catch it
Notice a thought that keeps coming back, in its usual words.
- Add a frame
"I'm having the thought that…" Say it to yourself, or write it.
- Name the story
If this thought were a familiar story, what would you call it? "The boring story." "The disaster movie."
- Carry on
Do what you were going to do, with the story along for the ride.
Jamal's band
Jamal has played guitar for years and has been invited to join a friend's band for a gig next month. Every time he practices, the same thought shows up: "I'm not a real musician. Everyone will see I'm a fraud." He has spent evenings listing his qualifications to himself, and it helps for an hour. He's now thinking of saying no.
Question 2 of 2
Sources and further reading
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.
- Masuda, A., Hayes, S. C., Sackett, C. F., & Twohig, M. P. (2004). Cognitive defusion and self-relevant negative thoughts: Examining the impact of a ninety year old technique. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 42(4), 477-485.
Finish the lesson
0 of 2 questions done. Answer the rest to finish.